6 month reflection 💌

dear me,

halfway through the year. i decided to actually look back at the new year’s resolution list today, and even though we haven’t been keeping up with all of it, it’s kind of crazy to see how much has actually happened.

obviously, the big stuff is still a work in progress. no full time job or profitable trading yet. 600 applications out there and getting ghosted by 90% of them is honestly brutal, but it is what it is. and with trading, i got those payouts earlier in the year but then let the fear and greed get into my head. the losing streak the last few months totally messed with my mindset, so taking a break right now is definitely the right call to reset.

the book is also stuck at 75% because the inspiration completely died out lately, and i haven’t even finished a single book to read this year. skin is doing okay. the pasta goal got sidelined by the new diet, and i still hate being in front of the camera, so zero progress on the photo front.

but looking closer at everything else, i’m actually really proud of how things are going.

i can officially run 3 miles in 30 minutes now. i know i need to stop making excuses and get back to it consistently after my trip, but the fact that i hit that baseline is huge. i’m also sparring once a week, and even though it feels like it’ll take years to get to where i want to be, i can feel myself getting better and sharper every session.

and the weight loss thing turned out to be a blessing in disguise. i realized dropping those extra 10 pounds made me feel awful physically, so i actually stopped trying to lose weight. i’m finally at a weight i’m genuinely happy with, and i feel so much more comfortable wearing the clothes i’ve always wanted to wear.

rejection 100 times? way more than that with the job hunt, so at least we absolutely crushed that one lol. but i’ve been networking like crazy and using all my resources, which is a massive win for getting out of my comfort zone. i’m also trying way more than just one new thing a month, and i am literally learning to dance now, going to salsa and country line dancing every single week which has been so fun.

with the painting, i decided to focus on canvases and spray can control first instead of just rushing straight into a full mural. i need to find my own style first, and practicing on the canvases has been a sweet process.

and with learning about sikhi, shifting the focus to the spiritual side and internal peace instead of just the historical facts has been so good for my mindset and keeping me grounded through the stressful moments.

so yeah, the list isn’t fully checked off and i’ve definitely been lazy with a few things. but seeing it all laid out like this, i’m doing a lot better than i give myself credit for. i’m not stuck at all.

the second half of the year is here, and i’m excited to just keep working through it and see where we’re at by december.

love,

me